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A Lady First: Being a Pastor’s Wife

May 24, 20140

Reality TV makes a mockery of Christianity and I as a pastor’s wife am embarrassed and fed up. Not just for what these so-called docu-series are doing to open up our Faith to ridicule, but also for what a lot of pastors’ wives are doing in real “real life” that only perpetuates the problem.

And why do they always have to be Black, most of them? As an African-American pastor’s wife myself (okay, half, whatever), that just adds insult to injury.

True enough, TLC cancelled “The Sisterhood” (winter 2013) after only one season due to major outcry from the Christian community. But then Oxygen’s “Preachers of L.A.” came around just six months later and was popular enough to be renewed for a second season. Plus, I hear there are to be spin-offs in other major cities like Atlanta and Detroit. And now there’s word that a new reality show, “Preachers’ Exes,” is shopping for a network channel.

Overall, these shows and the professing Christians on them are embarrassing and misleading. Not all pastors are about the bling. And not all pastor’s wives are arrogant, entitled, self-centered, aloof, patronizing, untouchable, I-can-do-what-I-want-I’m-the-first-lady, got-to-be-the-best-dressed, elitist, biblically illiterate, selectively loving, gossipping busybodies.

But a lot of us are.

I’m not saying that every pastor’s wife on “The Sisterhood” and “Preachers of L.A.” are all of these things. I don’t know any of them personally (being among the Facebook friends of a couple of them doesn’t count). On the show, some were worse than others and, thankfully, two or three of them weren’t really any of these things (except biblically illiterate).

But the majority of these women represent a lot of pastors’ wives who covet the title and position of “first lady in the church” (a long-held tradition in the Apostolic and other churches predominantly in the African-American community) — often being groomed for it from the time they were little girls. And it’s to the ultimate detriment of the local church and the women, especially the young women, who aspire to be just like them.

Special attention and favor do inevitably come with being married to the most visible and respected person in the local church. The problem is when pastors’ wives get all caught up in the hype instead of gently resisting the congregation’s natural tendency to put them on a pedestal. Allowing yourself to be called “First Lady” in the first place is the beginning of that problem. (Read my Why I’m Reluctant page and Name Calling page to see why I would even dare call myself that in the title of this blog.)

I’m thinking about two examples. First is Myesha Chaney, married to Pastor Wayne Chaney of Antioch Church of Long Beach, California, featured on “Preachers of L.A.” (See my post Naming Names for the biblical basis for why I would, well, name names.) Part of their storyline was that he needed a second in command and she wanted the job. When he hesitated, partly because the church board was against the nepotism and partly because of his own concerns about whether she could balance it with motherhood and her other existing responsibilities, she started crying. Her husband then, um, submitted.

Not to belittle Mrs. Chaney’s real feelings, but with all due respect, I wouldn’t feel secure at a church where it seems that: 1) the second in command is easily moved to tears when she doesn’t get her way; 2) the senior pastor is easily moved by those tears because it’s his wife; 3) the senior pastor’s wife shows such lack of trust in and Godly compliance with his leadership of her, their family and their church; and 4) the senior pastor submits to his wife and not the other way around when it comes to a major matter of the church, which makes me wonder how much she was maybe already kind of running things behind the scenes before this and at the church family’s expense.

This is even before I mention the fact that God did not ordain for women to be in authority over men in the first place. But that’s another article (or two) for another time.

The second example is Lady Bridget Hilliard, wife of Pastor I.V. Hilliard of New Light Christian Center in Houston, Texas. For her 50th birthday a few years ago, the church’s website had a microsite inviting people to her party for a $100 per person admission price. The party planning committee even included a list of suggested gift ideas, making it plain that Mrs. Hilliard deserved nothing less than “monetary gifts, designer handbags (Gucci, Chanel and Louis Vitton) and gift certificates (Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Escade).” (Houston Press article, February 9, 2006). Mrs. Hilliard was already driving a Bentley with the license plate, “Mrs. Attitude.” (Guess what her husband’s said.) Enough said.

That party’s old news by now, of course, and I read the microsite was taken down shortly after the Houston Press article came out. What I have not read anywhere is whether or not the Hilliards ever apologized for it or retracted that gifts list. I’m not saying they never did apologize; I’m just saying, in all the reading I did do in my research, I didn’t read anything that said they had.

Maybe now I’m the one who sounds arrogant, elitist, unloving and gossipy. And jealous. Let me briefly address all that. It’s important you know my heart before I continue.

Firstly, am I arrogant or elitist? See my Who She Think She Is? page. Anything I think I know is not because I think I have any superior insight or privileged wisdom. All I have is the same degree of access to reality shows and The Word Network, the Internet and Google, and — most importantly of all — the Holy Bible as anybody else; and I have been given the same basic degree of intelligence, common sense and potential ability to discern as most people; and I am therefore no more capable than anybody else to just, simply, make reasonable observations about things and evaluate how those things measure up against the test of the final authority of God’s Word.

Indeed, this very blog is intended, not to prove anything about myself, but to prove that all of us have the ability to think for ourselves about our Faith and our churches. This, in spite of the fact that, as I’ve said elsewhere, it’s going to ruffle some feathers in a lot of church hats. If that’s what it takes, so be it.

Am I gossiping? No, because I’m only talking about what was done publicly, and my assessment of it is my personal opinion based on my comparison of it against the Scriptures. I’m not addressing anything that isn’t already public knowledge.

Am I being unloving. No, because telling truthful observations about someone and loving them are not mutually exclusive. If they put themselves out there (on television and their websites), as long as I’m not calling them out their name or slandering (lying about) them, then no one can conclude I don’t love them. Am I aware what I’m saying could hurt their or their followers’ feelings and therefore that’s how I could be unloving? No, even then, my hope is that those women and their followers will be ultimately helped out of this faulty and potentially dangerous way of thinking in the church. Any short-term hurt is outweighed by that long-term goal. And that long-term goal is very loving, indeed.

Am I jealous? Hmm. Jealous of what? Material things? Status? Attention? Prominence? Popularity? If my focus were on me, if I were a “first lady” and a “Mrs. Attitude” like Bridget Hilliard, then of course being jealous and competitive would come with the territory. But I don’t want the title “First Lady.” Calling myself “Mrs. Davis” is plenty satisfying enough, thank you very much.

Furthermore, I don’t covet material things and all the rest. Sure, I like nice things, and sure, who doesn’t like at least a little attention. But these are things the carnal man desires, while God says that life does not consist in the abundance of one’s possessions (Luke 12:15), don’t store up for yourselves treasures on earth (Matthew 6:19), and be content (1 Timothy 6:6-8). In other words, balance. Biblical balance. I love and fear Almighty God too much, and my burden to warn Christian women is too heavy (see 2 Timothy 3:6), for me to be secretly pining for whatever those “First Ladies” have that I don’t have.

Here’s why I’m embarrassed and fed up with the whole “First Lady in the church” thing — whether it’s a pastor’s wife’s title or just her attitude:

Too many “First Ladies” fail to see that being a pastor’s wife is a privilege, not an entitlement. It’s a calling, not a status level. It’s a position of support and service, not of being served. It’s an opportunity for you to bless, not control. It’s about modeling a pricelessly adorned spirit, not the latest Gucci handbag. It’s a responsibility to give God all the glory, not share His glory with your husband and yourself. They fail to see it, and like sheep being led astray, their congregations fail to see it, too.

I’ve been a pastor’s wife for more than 21 years. With all of its perks come a lot of pitfalls, this I know first-hand. That’s why I also know, don’t seek to be a pastor’s wife unless you know you’re called by God. Be careful what you ask for, because if your pastor husband is going to do his job right, you as his biggest supporter and disciple are going to have to do your job right.

That means, first lady, you’re going to have to endure a lot of sacrifice, scrutiny, tests and trials, second-guessing, attacks on your marriage and family, hurt and pain, and loneliness. The fruits of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 6:22-24) — will have to be in operation on double-time. And let me throw in Galatians 6:26 for good measure: “Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.”

Of course, being a pastor’s wife also means being blessed to serve and help, to see the fruit of your labor in teaching and guiding your precious sisters and young women (Titus 2:3-5), and first and foremost being a fitting helpmate to your husband’s work in his ministry witnessing to lost souls and discipling believers into growing in their Faith.

In short, don’t seek after being a “first lady.” Be a “lady first.” (Thank you for that, Brother Lawrence E. Webb.)

A “lady first” is a woman (pastor’s wife or not) after God’s own heart. First.

Then it’s the heart of her husband, then her children (yes, after the husband), then the people in the church, then the larger community. Like the Proverbs 31 woman (verses 10-31), such a lady is content with her husband and children giving her honor even if no one else ever does (cf. verses 28-29). Moreover, it’s her good deeds — not her title, position, possessions or fashion style — that garner admiration outside her home (verses 30-31).

Similarly, a “lady first” strives to do what women are instructed in Titus 2:3-5: be mindful of their awesome responsibility to younger women, live holy lives, avoid idolatry, don’t gossip, teach biblical things, be level-headed, love and yield to their husbands, prefer and nurture their children, and make the home a pleasant, well-managed and healthy refuge for the family and guests.

Actually, verse 5 of Titus 2 is the only place in the Bible where it tells women in particular to not open up the Word of God to be blasphemed — maligned, cheapened, dishonored, discredited. How did/do most of the pastors’ wives on “The Sisterhood,” “Preachers of L.A.” and those you know or heard of personally, publicly live out that clear admonition?

Being a pastor’s wife called by God and not your ego, calls for being a lady first. And being a lady first, well, that’s hard enough as it is, I have to admit! (Or is it just me?!) It’s a constant striving already to be the Proverbs 31/Ephesians 5/Titus 2/1 Peter 3 woman even without the added responsibility of supporting a husband’s ministry.

But being a lady first, more than being a first lady, is what is most beautiful in the eyes of your husband, your children, your fellow church members and, most importantly of all, your Heavenly Father.

I welcome your comments and will respond as soon as I can.

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The Majority Fools

May 14, 20140

The “majority rules” way of picking sides is not always smart. Especially when it comes to the things of God and matters of the kingdom. Often, as the majority rules, the majority fools.

We’ve all seen examples of this in the world, such as when kids side with the bully in a school yard fight, or when juries convict innocent men to life or death sentences who are later exonerated.

I saw this happen to a pastor once. Not in a court of law, mind you, and not quite on a school yard. But this pastor was wrongfully accused of being a “striker brawler” by the unanimous vote of his deacon board even though they knew he had never even threatened to hit anyone let alone actually hit anyone. All it took, apparently, was a grossly embellished story by one of the deacons who knew it would be his word against the pastor’s because there were no other known eyewitnesses to the incident. Couple that with the fact that this deacon always prided himself on his ability to talk anyone into the ground until they cried “Uncle!” — except the pastor, who knew it takes more than sheer quantity of words and cleverness to make good ministry decisions. 

Despite the overwhelming lack of independent evidence, the deacon’s powers of persuasion worked on the other deacons. The pastor was quickly dismissed from his post and banned from the church with one day’s notice, without his back pay or severance pay, and without an opportunity to give his side of the story to the congregation.

Many of the church members and other collaborators with the ministry took the deacons’ unanimous vote as evidence enough of the pastor’s guilt. Most did not. Either way, the majority rules mentality caused a devastating church split. An eyewitness to the incident later revealed himself to the pastor to corroborate the pastor’s account. But it was too late.

As the majority ruled, the majority fooled.

This “majority fools” concept is of course not new. One of the best biblical examples is found in Numbers 13 and 14. God told Moses He was going to give a certain area of land to the people of Israel, but first He had him choose twelve men to go and spy things out. All twelve men came back agreeing it was a rich land, but the whopping majority of them doubted they could take it — and convinced all the people of the same. Only two of the spies, Joshua and Caleb, had faith to believe God would be with them to give them the victory.  All the people picked the side of the majority, to the point that they even talked about stoning the two dissenters!

So, what happened? God got angry because of the people’s contempt and decided everyone of that generation would not ever enter the promised land except Joshua and Caleb and their families. The ten men who spread the bad report, causing the people to grumble and rebel against The Lord, were struck down with a plague. It was at that point that the people decided to go and try to take the land, but it was too late. God had already withdrawn His will for them to succeed and they were attacked and chased away by the enemy.

The most obvious and notorious example is that of the Passion of Jesus Christ. After being betrayed by one of His closest disciples, Jesus stood trial in a kangaroo court as the religious leaders presented false witnesses against Him. He was convicted, beaten and then scourged within an inch of His life. Worst of all, the same people who had just hailed Him as King during His Triumphant Entry were now zealous for His death! They mocked Him, spit on Him, struck Him repeatedly and cursed at Him as He carried His Cross all the way up the hill to Calvary. The crowds who were once praising Jesus, now wanted Him dead. Just like that.

I’m not using these stories to prophesy or even hint anything about what did, should or might happen to those deacons and the church members and collaborators who sided with them. All I’m pointing out is that, when it comes to matters of God’s Kingdom, in some form or another: 

When the majority fools, destruction often follows.

Of course, the only way the majority fools is because people let the majority rule. Not that people want to be made fools. But people are either lazy enough to let the more vocal or prominent do their thinking for them; or they’re naive enough to think “majority rules” is a reliable way to tell right from wrong; or they have their own selfish ulterior motives.

Or, they just always automatically follow the crowd without a second thought.

That happens a lot among God’s people, especially today. Unsuspecting sheep blindly follow unsuspecting sheep who blindly follow the most popular “shepherds” — i.e., pastors, teachers, authors, life coaches, conference speakers and talk show personalities — who can then lead the sheep any way they want.

One pastor I admire described a spot-on parallel between God’s sheep (believers) and real sheep. In a flock of real sheep, the ones behind automatically follow the ones ahead. That’s why it’s easy to lead a whole flock to the slaughter, or at least to the shearing. Sheep are short-sighted and gullible because they by nature just follow each other without checking to see where they’re headed.

In addition, their wool is sheared because if it wasn’t, infection could spread quickly. Since sheep tend to stand and move tightly together in a filthy environment (they stand in their own and each other’s excrement), long wool attracts the filth and gets transferred easily from one sheep to the next.  Keeping them clipped and periodically moving them forward helps protect the whole flock. Plus, sheep dogs, while often a scary annoyance to the sheep, are invaluable for protecting them from ravenous wolves and preventing the sheep in front from straying in the wrong direction where the whole flock will follow.

See how important the sheep are to the shepherd? That’s why there are all these efforts to keep them safe and healthy. They are invaluable even if they are vulnerable.

And that’s why, in the church, a good shepherd of God’s flock understands the level of responsibility his job holds to keep the sheep safe and healthy in light of their tendency to kind of go with the flow of the whole crowd. He recognizes the value but also the vulnerability of the sheep God puts in his care. So, he uses the purging and pruning and forward-moving (spiritual growth) effects of God’s Word, the Bible, to keep them free of “infection” so that it won’t spread to the whole flock. And he supplements his sermons with ministry tools used like sheep dogs — Bible studies, Bible reading programs, Christ-centered worship, counseling, Bible workshops, his own example, etc. — to help prevent the sheep from straying and to equip them against ravenous wolves.

Of course, some Christians will still be fools for the “majority rules” way of thinking in church. Despite even the best shepherd’s efforts, there will still be those sheep who stray and take some of their unsuspecting fellow sheep along with them. There will still be some sheep in the church who will get wooed by the wolves in sheep’s clothing who manipulate them with clever words, or “infect” them with false doctrine, or lure them with empty promises, or blind them with their bling, stadium-sized congregations and endorsements from celebrity demi-gods like Oprah.

Part of the solution is to remind the church that, even though we are indeed God’s precious sheep, we are still more than real sheep. (This may be obvious, but why don’t we act like it?) God has given each of us the mental, emotional and intellectual ability to think, to discern, to investigate and to make reasonable and fair decisions about matters of the Kingdom. He has given us the power to resist the mindless draw of the crowds and those who woo, lure and blind them. And He has given us the instructions for measuring right from wrong based on what His Word says and not on what the majority says. Because God’s Word is what really rules.

Please remember, the majority was wrong in the case of Joshua and Caleb versus their fellow spies; and the majority was wrong when they demanded Christ’s brutal crucifixion. Hold on to the truth that God’s Word rules over the majority — especially in this day and age when the majority of people around you, even some fellow believers, are becoming less and less tolerant of your strong faith in Christ and your reliance on the scriptures. (See the Why I’m Not Reluctant page.)

Let this be a regular refrain as you keep your focus on Jesus the Lord: When it comes to matters of His Kingdom, as the majority rules, the majority fools; and as it fools, it can lead to the fool’s destruction.

Please share your thoughts by commenting below. I will endeavor to respond as soon as I can.

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Candy

May 2, 20140

My youngest son was only two years old when he told his dad, “I hate the devil — but I don’t hate his candy!”  Somehow he was able to put together the evils of the devil and the “goodness” of candy — and still feel no shame!

Isn’t that typical of all us? Maybe not exactly like a two-year-old. But for all of us to some degree, personal pleasure is priority. This is reinforced at a lot of our user-friendly churches, too (the core message of the Prosperity “Gospel”).  Sure, we know the devil is bad. And sure, we know that often too much of a “good” thing is also bad. We may even know that the things that please us the most are sometimes the things that can hurt us the most.

But whether pastor or pew warmer, we still like what we like, and we still want what we like, and we still, most of us, go for what we like — with the added boost of the pastor’s teaching and lifestyle.

But how many of us also know, as my son seemed to have stumbled upon back then, that a lot of things we like most in this world are the very things the devil himself uses against us?

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” (John 10:10a).  The devil wants your soul; and if he can’t have that because it already belongs to Christ, then he’ll kill your witness. Either way — and indeed with the help of many pastors, teachers, counselors, conference speakers, authors, prayer partners, song writers, life coaches and “reality” show celebrities — the devil’s tactic is to turn your eyes away from the things of God and toward the things of the world. Your heart and life will shortly follow (Matthew 6:19-21,24, NIV):

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. …

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.“

Consider candy. It tastes great. And once you get a taste, you always want more. If allowed and without a balanced diet, you’ll eat it ’til you’re sick and toothless.

Same with the pleasures of life in this world. Aside from vices like drugs, our “candy” may be material wealth, attention, status, work, recreation, food, sex, whatever. There’s nothing wrong with wanting genuinely positive things in life, especially if they were purposefully created for our enjoyment within the proper context ordained by a loving God (e.g., sex in marriage). But leave it to the master of all deceit to distort priorities and pervert those things into objects for our overindulgence. ‘Cause once you get a taste, you always want more.

As one televangelist has wholeheartedly endorsed: “Too many houses, too many cars, too much money!”

Any overindulgence has its corresponding price. The more “candy” you consume without a proper balanced diet of God’s Word and without self-control, the more price you’ll have to pay. Your life will be fed to the full on “empty calories” with no real nourishment to sustain your spirit, bear good fruit and affect the lives of others for the sake of God’s eternal glory. You’ll indulge ’til your spirit gets sick and your witness lacks teeth.

As just one example, 1 Timothy 6:10 says (NIV), “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

Consider this even more: The same warning we give our kids about don’t take candy from strangers should also apply in how we all make decisions for our lives (including what church to go to). This is true for non-Christians, as well. The devil entices us with all the various pleasures of this world until we’ve been lured right into his cleverly-disguised trap. He distracts and distorts and deceives until the saved become ineffective in this world and the unsaved remain eternally lost.

To prevent this, we all must be discerning and live by God’s will for our lives. As 1 John 2:15-17 shows us, “candy” corrupts, but God’s will is food for life:

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust of it; but he that does the will of God abides forever.”

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Real Life Face-Off

April 26, 20140

“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. You shall know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:15-16a

The 1997 movie “Face Off” is a literal take on the age-old fictional battle between good and evil. Get this: The actual faces of both the good guy and the bad guy are surgically removed — thus, “Face Off” — and exchanged. The good guy literally puts on the face of the bad guy, and the bad guy literally puts on the face of the good guy.

The result? Good appears evil. Evil appears good. And everyone around them goes by how things appear until finally, in their inevitable climatic “face-off” at the end, good and evil are revealed and wholesome justice prevails.

Doesn’t the same kind of thing happen in real life? What’s really good — true, holy, humble and right — is often rejected as bad, and what’s really bad — deceitful, ungodly, prideful and wrong — is often accepted as good?

Of course, it’s only how good and bad appear on the surface. Actual good is always good and actual bad is always bad no matter what they may look like. That’s because, as Jesus explained in Matthew 7:17-18, “Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” Even in “Face Off,” despite how they look on the outside, the good guy and the bad guy both stay true to their respective inner natures: the good guy stays good and the bad guy stays bad.

But just like the movie’s other characters who take things only at “face” value, when actual good looks evil and actual evil looks good, we in real life too often “call it as we see it” instead of discerning it for what it really is underneath.

The moral and biblical implications are clear. Instead of defining the world by the objective standards of good and evil as provided in God’s inerrant Word, we (even Christians) define good and evil by the subjective standards of the world.

And then we live our lives accordingly.

We foolishly assume that good will always be accepted in this world and that evil will always be easy to spot. We take good for granted and bad too lightly. So, when the world and, increasingly, professing Christian churches say “good” is anything that’s popular rather than what’s right or true and “bad” is anything that claims final authority and expects individual accountability, we often compromise and conform.

Real life examples abound:

  • Aborting life for the so-called “good” of, say, protecting a woman’s free choice.
  • Lying to protect one’s own cause or interest rather than trusting God to intercede.
  • Compromising our Christian walk or witness for the sake of being accepted or to avoid the discomfort of standing up for the truth.
  • Measuring faith by material prosperity.
  • Measuring the Spirit of God by the outward “spiritedness” of the people instead of testing all things by the Scriptures.
  • Planting seeds of doubt and division among God’s children under the guise of doing church “God’s way.”
  • Tolerating false doctrine or sinful behavior for the sake of “Christian unity” misapplied.
  • Rejecting Christianity altogether or picking and choosing beliefs and doctrines based on personal preference, political “correctness,” or popular charismatic personalities.
  • And so on.

Let me put a pin here for a moment and explain why I refer to the age-old battle between good and evil as fictional. In the entertainment arena such as movies, novels, television shows and cartoons, Good and Evil are always portrayed as having equal power. The struggle between them is always arduous because they are evenly matched foes. Of course, most of the time (there are always the dark exceptions), Good comes out on top so that the audience can feel better about the world by the time the final credits roll. But when it comes to the power of God compared to the power of evil in the real world, there is no competition. There is no arduous struggle. And that’s simply because there is no power as strong as, let alone greater than, the Almighty. (I can get into a discussion at another time of the role of evil in all its various forms and why God allows it to happen, even to Christians.)

We must understand and respect the final authority of God’s Holy Word as our preeminent source for wisdom and guidance in this world. When we don’t, then just like the unsuspecting victims in “Face Off,” our guard is down and evil’s knack for looking good has an advantage over us. While we think it’s safe, we fall prey to evil’s subtle “bait-and-switch” trap.

Thankfully, in “Face Off” the true good in the good guy is finally recognized beyond his surgically applied face. Yes, once outward, surface appearances are found to be untrustworthy—once good and evil are discerned beyond face value—good’s triumph over evil is assured.

In real life, 1 Samuel 16:7 comes to mind: “But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 

Only God’s wisdom is trustworthy enough to help us un-mask true good and real evil. And only by His Word and Spirit can we safely live our lives accordingly.

Read this related post: The Emperor Has No Clothes! Leave a comment in the spirit of love for God’s sheep and the truth of His Word.

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The Emperor has no clothes!

April 9, 20145

What do you do when you know someone is wrong about something, but they are just so convinced that they’re right? What should you do?

Now, let them have some sort of higher status than you — more popular, more experienced, of higher rank, an expert, more highly esteemed. Now what do you do?

But let’s not stop there. What if not only is this greatly esteemed person so convinced they’re right, but so are all of their adoring fans?

How are you supposed to handle that?

Here’s how a lot of people handle it: they just don’t say anything. Or, they just go with the flow and affirm it along with everyone else. Nobody wants to be labeled the odd man out, or a hater, or a troublemaker. Nobody wants to make themselves a target of the ridicule of the masses.

Remember the fable, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”? The king of the land allowed himself to believe that his new royal outfit would only be invisible to the common person, the less sophisticated, the less important. Only the elite of the land would be able to actually see the king’s clothes and appreciate its exquisite, superior quality. In fact, he decreed it across the kingdom, so everyone was given the heads-up: If you can’t see the clothes, there’s something wrong with you.

So, what happened? As the proud, self-important king paraded along amongst his citizens, showing off his new regal duds, everyone exclaimed in awe how absolutely divine he looked. Of course, what they were really thinking is what was really the truth, that this dude was strutting in his underwear. But everyone was afraid to displease him and to disagree with the rest of the crowd who were all shouting their praises.

Except for one young boy who was pure enough to just tell it like it is: “Look! The Emperor has no clothes!”

Immediately, everyone realized their folly, with the disgraced king running for cover — literally.

In the Christian church today, sometimes somebody needs to be straightforward enough to just say something. You don’t have to be some special somebody to do it. As long as you have the truth as measured by the Word of God taken in proper context, and as long as you’re truly not a hater or a troublemaker, the truth is all you need to qualify you to simply tell it like it is.

The goal is to help people see things the way they really are so that everyone can grow in their understanding of God’s Word and thereby be able to apply it effectively. The motive in saying anything should be brotherly love and encouragement, all for the glory of Jesus Christ. See 1 Corinthians 13:2; Galatians 6:1; and 2 Timothy 3:16-17.

But too many people in the kingdom don’t want to be seen as common. Many of us can see that the emperor — that is, our beloved pastor, our favorite televangelist, our popular reality show guru, and our top psycho-inspirational speaker — is misinterpreting a scripture, teaching damnable heresies, mistreating the sheep, or guilty of unrepentant sin. But because of the emperor’s status, and/or because of his or her adoring fans, we’d rather rationalize their folly away, tell ourselves, “Oh, God will handle it,” or be intimidated to “touch not God’s anointed” (1 Chronicles 16:22).

It’s not easy to speak up. I know first-hand, it doesn’t matter how gently you approach it or how clearly you can show it from the scriptures (e.g., the context of 1 Chronicles 16:22 shows that the “anointed” is the whole nation of Israel), some people just won’t accept the truth. Not only that, they will then somehow try to diminish you for saying something about it in the first place.

For instance, recently a Facebook friend — another pastor’s wife whom I only met online — posted something and I sent her a private message saying how I appreciated her heart behind the post, and that I wasn’t trying to start anything, but that it wasn’t quite biblical. I don’t recall exactly what it was about, but I do know it was important enough to point it out to her. We dialogued nicely about it for a minute, and I purposely kept saying to her I wasn’t speaking on any authority except what I could see from God’s Word.

She soon said to me, “Oh, you’re one of those bible-toting, scripture-quoting Christians.” To which I replied, “Aren’t you?!” What else has any authority for matters of the Faith?

Her last message to me told me I was making her want to unfriend me, which she then immediately did.

Less dramatic than that but still troubling, a very likeable inspirational speaker, published author and life coach in the Los Angeles area told me via Facebook that Romans 3:23 — which says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” — is actually telling us that God wants us to live out our full potential in this life so that we can give Him more glory. She included a reminder that she’s been in ministry and teaching on this for many years. I didn’t feel it necessary to list any of my little credentials. (If you’re interested at all, please see the Who She Think She Is? page.)

I told her I thought the context was about eternal salvation through Christ, but I promised to go back and check, because I want to make sure I’m on the same page with God.

And that’s what I did, not just starting at Chapter 3 verse 1 but Chapter 1 verse 1 all the way to the end of Chapter 5. I already knew I was correct, but I need to practice what I “preach” about using scripture in proper context.

Why bother? Because her many fans could be led down an attractive but ultimately destructive path if they misunderstand the Apostle Paul’s message about man’s fallen nature, our inability to save ourselves, and our need for a Savior to rescue us from eternal punishment and bring us to awesome fellowship with our Heavenly Father forever. To get anything but that out of the context of Romans 3:23 — indeed, to even read that very verse any other way — is to ignore what is otherwise so easy and so eternally crucial to see.

So, I felt compelled to say that the emperor has no clothes. Not like that, of course. But I went back a few days later to this lovely person and told her what I had discovered. Her response was that she did not remember our dialogue.

“No worries,” I reassured her. “But still, what do you now think about that verse?” She never replied. We remain FB friends, though, so that’s good, I guess.

You don’t need to be of high status, esteem, rank, experience or expertise to be able to say outloud when the emperor has no clothes. All you need is an open bible, basic reading comprehension skills, faith for the Holy Spirit to illuminate the Word to you, the willingness to be corrected yourself, and most of all a heart for fellow believers.

People will reject you, call you names, belittle you. But as long as you are relying on God’s Word and not your own or your pastor’s or some other man’s or woman’s, you can be at peace about it because their issue is really with God and not you.

More and more there are people and preachers and popular personalities who put themselves on a pedestal, and the gullible will blindly affirm them or in some other way, even with their silence, enable them. Who is willing to say with me, by the authority of the Holy Bible and for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ and Him alone, please, open your eyes!

Leave a comment, and I will endeavor to respond as soon as possible.

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