The Reluctant First Lady > 2014

Yearly Archive: 2014

Candy

May 2, 20140

My youngest son was only two years old when he told his dad, “I hate the devil — but I don’t hate his candy!”  Somehow he was able to put together the evils of the devil and the “goodness” of candy — and still feel no shame!

Isn’t that typical of all us? Maybe not exactly like a two-year-old. But for all of us to some degree, personal pleasure is priority. This is reinforced at a lot of our user-friendly churches, too (the core message of the Prosperity “Gospel”).  Sure, we know the devil is bad. And sure, we know that often too much of a “good” thing is also bad. We may even know that the things that please us the most are sometimes the things that can hurt us the most.

But whether pastor or pew warmer, we still like what we like, and we still want what we like, and we still, most of us, go for what we like — with the added boost of the pastor’s teaching and lifestyle.

But how many of us also know, as my son seemed to have stumbled upon back then, that a lot of things we like most in this world are the very things the devil himself uses against us?

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” (John 10:10a).  The devil wants your soul; and if he can’t have that because it already belongs to Christ, then he’ll kill your witness. Either way — and indeed with the help of many pastors, teachers, counselors, conference speakers, authors, prayer partners, song writers, life coaches and “reality” show celebrities — the devil’s tactic is to turn your eyes away from the things of God and toward the things of the world. Your heart and life will shortly follow (Matthew 6:19-21,24, NIV):

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. …

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.“

Consider candy. It tastes great. And once you get a taste, you always want more. If allowed and without a balanced diet, you’ll eat it ’til you’re sick and toothless.

Same with the pleasures of life in this world. Aside from vices like drugs, our “candy” may be material wealth, attention, status, work, recreation, food, sex, whatever. There’s nothing wrong with wanting genuinely positive things in life, especially if they were purposefully created for our enjoyment within the proper context ordained by a loving God (e.g., sex in marriage). But leave it to the master of all deceit to distort priorities and pervert those things into objects for our overindulgence. ‘Cause once you get a taste, you always want more.

As one televangelist has wholeheartedly endorsed: “Too many houses, too many cars, too much money!”

Any overindulgence has its corresponding price. The more “candy” you consume without a proper balanced diet of God’s Word and without self-control, the more price you’ll have to pay. Your life will be fed to the full on “empty calories” with no real nourishment to sustain your spirit, bear good fruit and affect the lives of others for the sake of God’s eternal glory. You’ll indulge ’til your spirit gets sick and your witness lacks teeth.

As just one example, 1 Timothy 6:10 says (NIV), “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

Consider this even more: The same warning we give our kids about don’t take candy from strangers should also apply in how we all make decisions for our lives (including what church to go to). This is true for non-Christians, as well. The devil entices us with all the various pleasures of this world until we’ve been lured right into his cleverly-disguised trap. He distracts and distorts and deceives until the saved become ineffective in this world and the unsaved remain eternally lost.

To prevent this, we all must be discerning and live by God’s will for our lives. As 1 John 2:15-17 shows us, “candy” corrupts, but God’s will is food for life:

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust of it; but he that does the will of God abides forever.”

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Real Life Face-Off

April 26, 20140

“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. You shall know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:15-16a

The 1997 movie “Face Off” is a literal take on the age-old fictional battle between good and evil. Get this: The actual faces of both the good guy and the bad guy are surgically removed — thus, “Face Off” — and exchanged. The good guy literally puts on the face of the bad guy, and the bad guy literally puts on the face of the good guy.

The result? Good appears evil. Evil appears good. And everyone around them goes by how things appear until finally, in their inevitable climatic “face-off” at the end, good and evil are revealed and wholesome justice prevails.

Doesn’t the same kind of thing happen in real life? What’s really good — true, holy, humble and right — is often rejected as bad, and what’s really bad — deceitful, ungodly, prideful and wrong — is often accepted as good?

Of course, it’s only how good and bad appear on the surface. Actual good is always good and actual bad is always bad no matter what they may look like. That’s because, as Jesus explained in Matthew 7:17-18, “Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” Even in “Face Off,” despite how they look on the outside, the good guy and the bad guy both stay true to their respective inner natures: the good guy stays good and the bad guy stays bad.

But just like the movie’s other characters who take things only at “face” value, when actual good looks evil and actual evil looks good, we in real life too often “call it as we see it” instead of discerning it for what it really is underneath.

The moral and biblical implications are clear. Instead of defining the world by the objective standards of good and evil as provided in God’s inerrant Word, we (even Christians) define good and evil by the subjective standards of the world.

And then we live our lives accordingly.

We foolishly assume that good will always be accepted in this world and that evil will always be easy to spot. We take good for granted and bad too lightly. So, when the world and, increasingly, professing Christian churches say “good” is anything that’s popular rather than what’s right or true and “bad” is anything that claims final authority and expects individual accountability, we often compromise and conform.

Real life examples abound:

  • Aborting life for the so-called “good” of, say, protecting a woman’s free choice.
  • Lying to protect one’s own cause or interest rather than trusting God to intercede.
  • Compromising our Christian walk or witness for the sake of being accepted or to avoid the discomfort of standing up for the truth.
  • Measuring faith by material prosperity.
  • Measuring the Spirit of God by the outward “spiritedness” of the people instead of testing all things by the Scriptures.
  • Planting seeds of doubt and division among God’s children under the guise of doing church “God’s way.”
  • Tolerating false doctrine or sinful behavior for the sake of “Christian unity” misapplied.
  • Rejecting Christianity altogether or picking and choosing beliefs and doctrines based on personal preference, political “correctness,” or popular charismatic personalities.
  • And so on.

Let me put a pin here for a moment and explain why I refer to the age-old battle between good and evil as fictional. In the entertainment arena such as movies, novels, television shows and cartoons, Good and Evil are always portrayed as having equal power. The struggle between them is always arduous because they are evenly matched foes. Of course, most of the time (there are always the dark exceptions), Good comes out on top so that the audience can feel better about the world by the time the final credits roll. But when it comes to the power of God compared to the power of evil in the real world, there is no competition. There is no arduous struggle. And that’s simply because there is no power as strong as, let alone greater than, the Almighty. (I can get into a discussion at another time of the role of evil in all its various forms and why God allows it to happen, even to Christians.)

We must understand and respect the final authority of God’s Holy Word as our preeminent source for wisdom and guidance in this world. When we don’t, then just like the unsuspecting victims in “Face Off,” our guard is down and evil’s knack for looking good has an advantage over us. While we think it’s safe, we fall prey to evil’s subtle “bait-and-switch” trap.

Thankfully, in “Face Off” the true good in the good guy is finally recognized beyond his surgically applied face. Yes, once outward, surface appearances are found to be untrustworthy—once good and evil are discerned beyond face value—good’s triumph over evil is assured.

In real life, 1 Samuel 16:7 comes to mind: “But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 

Only God’s wisdom is trustworthy enough to help us un-mask true good and real evil. And only by His Word and Spirit can we safely live our lives accordingly.

Read this related post: The Emperor Has No Clothes! Leave a comment in the spirit of love for God’s sheep and the truth of His Word.

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Don’t Be Silly!

April 22, 20144

He was a very skillful motivational speaker. Clearly, he was making the most of his expertise in psychology as he worked the packed arena of women whom he knew were sick and tired of being sick and tired. You could tell why he was the opening act of the two and a half day conference. It was masterful.

He told them, “In your home, you are the candle and your man is the candle holder.” “Alright, alright!”, affirmed many in the crowd as he held above his head a beautiful pillar candle in one hand and a strong, ornate candle holder in the other.

“Now remember,” he continued, “a candle is a complete and whole candle with or without a candle holder” — “Amen!” — “and a candle holder is still a candle holder with or without a candle.”

Then he said, “Now, the role of a candle is to light up the room” — “Say that!” — “and the role of the candle holder is to support that which is designed to give light.” The women knew where he was going with this and they were more than happy to be taken for the ride. ” ‘Cause when you put the two together,” which the speaker then proceeded to do, “the candle holder lifts up the candle, putting her on the pedastal she deserves!” Thousands of women were on their feet with that one, as the speaker dramatically rested the candle on the candle holder, walked over to a tall table, and positioned the pair at center, right under a glorious spotlight. “Yes! Thank You, Jesus!”

But he wasn’t done.

Next thing you knew, the entire arena went dark. After a moment, you saw a small flicker of light; the speaker had a lighter in his hand. As he slowly brought the flame closer and closer to the candle to ignite it, he explained that the flame represented the Holy Spirit, and now that the candle and her dutiful candle holder were in proper position, the Holy Spirit could then come down and impart light upon her so that the whole home could be blessed.

Wow. Well done. Women were literally dancing in the aisles, shouting their Hallelujah’s.

Who can blame them? Finally, women’s empowerment takes center stage. Finally, it’s out of the shadows and into the light — no more obscurity from being overlooked, under-appreciated, and taken advantage of. Finally, a man “gets it.” As one young lady said at the end of that first night, “I’m not here to learn about God. I just want to know how to deal with that man!”

Women are rightfully fed up. We’ve had to give so much to our men (if they stick around) and our kids for what seems so little in return. So, we are ripe for this kind of recognition. And this speaker and the televangelist behind the conference knew it. The best way for me to describe it: they knew how to hit their “spiritual G-spot” for women who, as I said, are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Too bad these women had just been lied to.

Understand my heart. Just because it speaks to your frustrations, just because it resonates with your worn-out spirit, just because it goes along with what you think already, just because it makes you feel better about yourself, does not make it true, right or even good for you. Maybe, just maybe, it does all those things for the very purpose of manipulating your emotions so that you’ll keep spending money on conferences, books and dvd’s. In exchange, you’re learning a false hope that causes you to appreciate your man less while you expect him to appreciate you more, which in turn only perpetuates the cycle of discontent.

This conference is a quintessential, real life instance of what 2 Timothy 3:6-7 describes about the perilous times to come in the last days: “For of this sort [see verses 1 through 5] are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers [various] lusts, Ever learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

“I’m not here to learn about God” — even though the word “God” is in the title of the conference — “I just want to know how to deal with that man!”

Please, my precious sisters! Don’t be silly!

Let me explain with the Bible how what the speaker was saying was a lie (whether he realized it or not):

Firstly, God specifically created woman to be a suitable helper to the man, not the other way around (Genesis 2:18,20). Our men certainly can and should help, support and honor us (e.g., 1 Peter 3:7), but not to the point of flipping God’s perfect script on marital roles. As 1 Corinthians 11:9 says, “for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.” We need to see the value of our special God-given role, not resent it.

Secondly, in a Christian marriage where both spouses are believers, the Holy Spirit does not bless the home exclusively through the wife. Of course, there are moments in any marriage when the wife is more receptive to the Spirit when her husband isn’t. But the reverse occurs a lot, too. To imply that the Holy Spirit guides or imparts wisdom to the Christian home primarily through the wife is completely illogical given all the Scriptures that say the man is the head of the home, husbands are to teach their wives to be holy and blameless before the Lord, and wives are the ones who are to yield (e.g., 1 Corinthians 11:3ff; Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-6; etc.).

Lastly, this sort of recognition borders on idolatry (Galatians 6:3), where you nurture your frustrations and lusts for recognition more than you nurture your growth as a daughter of the Most High. Besides, one of the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman (verses 10 through 31) is that her husband is well-known in the community (verse 23). Sounds like that old adage, behind every good man is a good woman. Perhaps that’s what verse 31 means when it says that her own good works will bring her praise, because she contributes to her husband’s good reputation. In any case, she should be content to receive praise from her own family (verses 28, 29), and by all means they should be sure to give it to her. But her biggest priority, one that is most praiseworthy and therefore far more important than her feminine appeal, is her fear of the Lord (verse 30).

My heart truly and deeply grieves for women who get taken captive by titillating words that appeal to our egos as well as our hardships. These speakers know women’s hot buttons and are happy to tell them what they want to hear instead of what God truly wants to give them, because putting you up on an idolatrous pedastal is much more financially lucrative than teaching you to willfully submit to your husbands.

I’ll close with this final observation about this conference:  I was there myself (for research purposes), at its Los Angeles stop one year. On the second day, one of the speakers gave an excellent talk, based on her equally excellent book, about single Christian women finding completeness in their relationship with God. I later mentioned to her during her book signing afterwards — well, I kind of blurted it out, admittedly — that so far her presentation was the only one that used Scriptures in proper context. I meant it to encourage her, but I was too blunt for the setting (it’s okay on my blog, just saying!) and so I don’t think it left the kind of mark I honestly intended.

Later that afternoon the main attraction, the televangelist, gave a climatic presentation about labor pains, giving birth to your dreams, ditching unsuccessful people, increasing your status, and fulfilling your destiny. That previous speaker must have told him what I said to her because, once he had worked up the audience to yet another emotional frenzy, as his commanding presence went back and forth across the stage anticipating the ebb and flow of squeals, this Christian televangelist made this out-of-nowhere statement: “If you came here thinking this conference was about God, you’re wrong!”

Well, despite the conference title, he certainly got that one right.

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Jesus Died for This?

April 16, 20140

“I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10b)

If the “life” that Jesus referred to here is manner of life, lifestyle or way of life on earth, then how do you explain the fact that so many Christians around the world are suffering for the Faith? Besides, why would the rich in this world need to come to Jesus for that?

My big brother Doug accepted Jesus Christ shortly after seeing “The Exorcist” when it first came out in the 1970s. It scared him so much, he had to sleep with the light on for two days even though he was already grown and on his own!

He saw it at a time when he was searching for answers in life, first being into astrology during that period. He was searching for a firm foundation to believe in. So, after seeing that movie, he changed direction and started going to church.

Understand, this was a big deal, because we were not a religious family. To make matters worse, at least from our agnostic/atheistic perspective at the time, Doug quickly became one of those annoying, zealous hell-fire-and-brimstone Christians with nothing else to talk about every time he came over.

Soon, because of the church he started going to, that zeal extended itself to the “Word Faith” doctrine so that, in addition to needing Jesus, we also needed to watch our words because they have creative power, even power over life and death (Proverbs 18:21, taken way out of context). Doug was so into this “name it and claim it” way of thinking and its close, natural companion, the “Prosperity Gospel,” that it seemed to almost consume him. It puts a heavy emphasis on material success and among its tenets is that you have to be very specific about what you desire from the Lord.

Doug started speaking the things he wanted into existence, or at least he tried: a particular wife, a mansion specifically in Pacific Grove, a certain make and model luxury car, etc. He was following the formula to the tee, and yet, not surprisingly, he did not get most of what he “confessed.” I don’t know all of what Doug was praying for in life, and although his prayers weren’t answered exactly as he had confessed them, he did marry a wife he completely adored, had a comfortable home in an L.A. suburb, two beautiful children, a steady job and a reliable Toyota sedan.

What I do know most of all is that years later, following one unanswered “confession” after another after another, Doug got increasingly disillusioned. His foundation in Christ, in my opinion, was eventually shaken. Then, after years of trying to bolster that foundation of belief, he started talking about mysticism and then became a Gnostic. (Gnosticism is a false religion that combines some elements of Christianity with mystical, occultic concepts.)

After years of thinking Gnosticism was the answer, in 2005 Doug eventually alienated himself almost completely from the family. By this time I had been a Christian for more than 20 years, but he said he didn’t want to have anything to do with Charlton and me anymore because we didn’t believe in the same God. I was devastated. Devastated more because of what this might mean for his eternity than because my big brother didn’t want to speak to me anymore, and I really love my only big brother.

A few months later, in early January 2006, out of the blue Doug emailed me. It was a nice message encouraging me to keep standing up for the Faith regardless of what our family (they all still haven’t accepted Jesus) or anyone else says or thinks. I was encouraged that maybe his conversion to Christ really was authentic way back when, that maybe he just had a long struggle with doubt after all those years of disappointment with the Word Faith/Prosperity “gospel,” and that maybe he was finally coming back around. This hope was bolstered by the fact that his best friend from those early Word Faith days had stayed close to him like a brother through all those spiritually tumultuous years. (Thank you, Pastor Ron and Louise Johnson.)

Two weeks later, four days after his 51st birthday, Doug died suddenly of heart failure.

Why tell you this story? Am I saying that the Word Faith Movement/Prosperity “Gospel” killed my brother? Of course not, not at all! There are too many other factors that I know about, and I’m sure many that I don’t, that came into play with Doug’s unexpected death.

But I am giving him as an illustration of why the doctrine is so problematic. My brother’s story, while admittedly being from my perspective only based on my conversations with and observations of him over a 20-plus year period, is just one of countless others I know of first-hand where failure of the Word Faith/Prosperity doctrine has injured God’s precious sheep. Too many people are told to come to Jesus so they can have a better life now, and so they respond; but when their material status in life doesn’t really change as much as promised if they followed the formula, they falter or rebel.

Don’t get me wrong. People, including my brother, are very much to blame for following false doctrine so blindly. They won’t be able to pass the buck on their pastors when it’s judgement time for believers, because God will say, “But didn’t you have your own Bible, and don’t you know how to read and understand it for yourself? Can’t you think for yourself?” Scriptures repeatedly warn the sheep to beware of false teachers who teach that material gain is godliness and to leave those churches. However, God will also definitely hold pastors accountable for what they teach. For example, for accountability on both sides of this coin, read 1 Timothy Chapter 6 and Colossians 3:1-6.

While my brother started out understanding that you need Jesus for forgiveness of sins, I can’t help but think that his focus on his own material prosperity slowly but surely diminished or overshadowed the true Gospel of forgiveness of sins in his own mind. The more the formula wasn’t producing the promised results, the more he became obsessed with trying; and the more he kept trying, the more he got disillusioned; and the more he got disillusioned, the more it affected his faith in the Lord.

Again, this is only my own opinion. The point is, is that what Jesus died for, to give us a better life now? “Too many houses, too many cars, too much money” as one televangelist put it?  If so, then how does that apply to Christians who are being imprisoned, condemned, tortured and killed for their faith? Besides that, how does the promise of “your best life now” make Jesus attractive to the uber-successful like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey or Jay Z who are having a better than best life already?

Followers of the mega-popular Word Faith/Prosperity “gospel” point to John 10:10 as proof out of Jesus’ own mouth that He wants us to enjoy life to the fullest here on earth. Jesus is talking and says in the second part of verse 10, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

“BAM!”, material prosperity proponents will say, “abundant living in your face!”

But slow your roll there, buddy! A simple and honest reading of the context easily reveals that the “life” Jesus is talking about is not manner of life but life as the opposite of death. In other words, eternal life with God as opposed to eternal separation from God. Just read verse 9 and 11 with verse 10.

Isn’t eternal life truly the more abundant kind of life Jesus Christ died on the Cross to give us? Especially when you consider the alternative? Indeed, that’s what the Greek word for “more abundantly” in verse 10 means: “above the ordinary measure.” What kind of life is above the ordinary measure of just being alive, other than to live forever in the glorious presence of Almighty God in heaven?

Hallelujah! That’s what Jesus died for!

If more preachers taught that truth, imagine how many souls like my brother Doug’s would have been spared the great disillusionment that comes with the false promises of the Word Faith/Prosperity “gospel.” Imagine how many precious sheep would be more content in this life, filled with hope regardless of their earthly status because they’re focused more on the abundant life to come in heaven. Imagine how much stronger their faith in Christ would be if they weren’t constantly told that it’s their fault if their prayers go unanswered. Imagine how less resentful and bitter people would be about church and preachers, and maybe even Jesus Himself, if they were taught the eternal benefits of following Jesus — eternal salvation, fellowship of the saints, peace through the storms, strength to endure hardships, uncommon favor when and where it really counts, eternal rewards in heaven for good fruit produced for God’s glory here, etc.

I hope my brother Doug came to the end of his life re-dedicated to Jesus as his Lord and Savior. I don’t know for sure, unfortunately. But since there’s nothing I can do about that now, I can only pray and proclaim to anyone who will hear it: Don’t diminish Christ’s blood by promoting or following the prosperity doctrine like my brother did. It is a shaky foundation. It appeals only to the desparate, not to mention the selfish and the greedy. If we’ll be honest, it seems to work mostly for the preachers who teach it; and it is meaningless to nonbelievers who are already living their best life now.

Is it okay for Christians to aspire for “above the ordinary measure” of material prosperity in this life? Sure, but just as long as you realize that’s not what Jesus died a brutal death on the Cross for. Thank You, Lord, for Your sacrifice!

Please share your thoughts. Leave a comment by clicking on the title of this article above. Also, become a fan of my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/TheReluctantFirstLady.

 

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I’m Afraid of the Dark

April 12, 20140

I’m afraid of the dark. Not the kind that keeps little children awake at night, hiding under the covers.  The dark I’m talking about is real and is causing great harm to Christians, our families and our churches. 

The dark I’m talking about is spiritual darkness that saturates the world around us and has been seeping into our churches for generations, but today seems to be spreading like wildfire among us, and even within us, at an alarming rate.  

We do need to be aware and awake about it, not hiding under the covers from it but being vigilant against it. 

I think of what the Apostle Paul said at least three times in his second letter to the Christian church in Corinth – a bustling metropolis in his day that was very much like Los Angeles and other major cities around the world today. 

At least three times Paul told them, “I am afraid.”

First, he said he was afraid that the Corinthian Christians were falling for false doctrine (2 Corinthians 11:3-4). Then later he said he was afraid about their attitudes and lifestyles — specifically, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder (12:20). Then he said he was afraid he would find them in unrepentent impurity, sexual sin and debauchery (12:21). 

In all three instances, if I can say it this way, the Apostle Paul was afraid of the dark. 

He recognized the shadowy influences of the world – the lack of discernment, false doctrine, pride, lack of repentance, lack of self-control, and shameful carnality – that had found their way into the Corinthian church and the hearts of many of its members.  These things reveal spiritual darkness in any heart and church where it is tolerated.

Like Paul, we need to fight against it.

How?  First, by not being afraid of it like naïve little children who think putting the covers over our heads makes it go away, and by not being so ignorant or so self-absorbed into our own prosperity to think it’s those folks’ business or problem and not ours. 

Second, by letting the light of Jesus Christ shine brightly through us to the rest of the church and the world. 

In other words, let the Son shine!

The more that people and churches let their pastors shine, or their self-appointed apostles, or their ministries, or their contest-winning choirs, or their material wealth, or their vast memberships, or their “new revelations,” or their doctrinal “movements,” or their favorite talk show idols; and the more they tolerate marital infidelity, and financial manipulations, and back-biting, and deception, and heresy; and the more they put victims in bondage about forgiving without accountability, the less they shine the light of Christ to hurting, backsliding or fearful Christians, or to lost and dying souls. 

On the other hand, the more we fight against the darkness by trying to let the Son, Jesus Christ, shine through us – by our humility, brotherly love, sincere worship, good stewardship, biblical knowledge, Spirit-led wisdom, chaste lifestyles, edifying dialogues, sound doctrine, careful counseling, and good deeds – the more our precious, dark-destroying Lord will be glorified!

Do you think spiritual darkness has seeped into today’s Christian churches? To leave a comment, click on the article title or the number next to the comments icon just under the title, and then scroll down to the end.

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